From ear to ear I tell ya. From ear to ear.

I know I haven't blogged about anything or anyone or any moment or any adventure for a while now.

But I just thought I'd blog one consistent feeling I've been feeling for the last few weeks,

I am so effing happy. I'm happy inside and outside and in between the cracks,

it's hard for me to believe. 

I haven't been THIS happy in a long time. I mean of course, there are some petty situations that could reasonably improve themselves but don't - but I'm not too fussed, not even a little bit.

I get fuzzy in my belly, I get random moments where I spread my arms and look up at the sky listening to a favourite song whilst on the back of a motorbike driving a little too fast.

It's weird, it's strange and it's beautiful.

And I can do nothing else but smile. From ear to ear I tell ya. From ear to ear. 

Looking Up

Something harsh and uncalled for occured to me Sunday morning (the day after halloween*) - an unnecessary emotional event between me and a figure of my past..

Whilst all sorts of callous and unforgiving truths were transpiring, I found myself, in resignation, looking upwards through my tears and I still can't figure out why.
I'm not a religious person, maybe slightly spiritual, but not religious - so no, I wasn't looking up or looking for, God. I was just looking up. And I know I'm not the only one who does that when feeling frustration or sadness.
Now that I've got myself thinking about it - I've seen a lot of people look up when things are down.

There's probably some proper psychological scientific explanation to it that I am completely unaware of. But after a lot of thought, this is what I think, be me right or wrong - just let me sing my psyche song, alright? 8)

I think that we look up when things are down and dreadful because in most circumstances, upwards is the only place where your 'world' doesn't exist. Your surroundings aren't there to torture you anymore and your mind is freed momentarily of all the madness that you're stuck in. Be it the sky, a high ceiling, sky scrapers or tip tops of trees - it's unorthodox and doesn't coincide with your everyday life so it feels temporarily blissful.

Now that I think about it, it kind of symbolises freedom. Think of a guy looking upwards with his arms spread open - what's the first thing that comes to mind? For me: Freedom.

How cool is it that our bodies instinctively do things to help you in an emotional situation. Usually I feel as though my body is working against me in all extreme emotional situations - my knees shake when I'm nervous, my lips wobble while my eyes tear up when I'm sad, my jaw painfully clenches when I'm angry... so many things happen that normally make the situation worse. 

So I'm happy that something made me look up - I didn't have to face the gloominess in front of me. 

I'm sorry, I know this post sounded a little dreary - I'm okay and staying optimistic, I just wanted to know why I looked up.

Well. It's either because of all of the above OR

I looked up as a simple attempt to keep the tears in. Lol. 

*A similar (yet worse) event of misery occurred to me Halloween last year with the same aforementioned "figure of the past". It must be an anniversary of anguish. How nice. 

Looking forward to what Halloween brings next year. Maybe I should just leave the house with my head already looking up and stay that way until it's all over. haha. 

I'd imagine I'd look a little like this walking around in a club:

Bitten Smitten by me

I think I have been bitten smitten

More so than the sight of a fluffy kitten

It simply had to be written, 

that my heart has swelled much bigger than Britain.

:)